Yep that's right. I've been in front of the computer ever since I woke up this morning. Getting online is one of my hobbies which I have neglected for weeks. I just wanted to entertain myself after all those hardworks but I still need to study tonight for our finals tomorrow. Our exams tomorrow would be Rizal Course and Cafeteria Lec. I absolutely have no idea what would be covered in the cafeteria lec exam tomorrow for we weren't able to meet again our professor for that subject. Hopefully, I will be able to answer the exam questions.

Yesterday, Giselle, anne and I met up at UST to start the revision for our final paper in feasib. We need to incorporate the corrections and suggestions that the panelists gave us and also to follow the new format of the financial statements. We had a hard time finishing it for it was already late before someone could send us the new format of the financials and also there were still lots of things to edit. Also the fact that it will take us again a lot of time to print the paper because of that borders that ma'am required us to place in the paper. I can't understand the sense of putting those borders anyway for it just lessened the formality look of the paper. We edited the paper at the park behind the main building, which is near the newly build fountain, using Giselle's laptop. I had fun watching the dancing waters in the fountain. We stayed there for several hours. While anne was editing kookay's work in adobe photoshop, I was busy tallying the evaluation forms of the participants last b.a. convention. After about 2 or 3 hours, I finished it. We finished late so I was able to come home last night at about past 9 and I was also tired. I was supposed to go online last night to send the format through email to maica but I fell asleep while waiting for my cousin to finish her report since she was using computer. I even forgot to wait for my ipod and cellphone to finish charging. Maybe my aunt pulled the plug off for me.

I visited again Wu zun's blog but he haven't posted a new entry yet so I decided to just type a new one for mine. I also updated my friendster account earlier. Anyways, I can't think of anymore things to add so I'm going. I just realized that my spanish language skill is getting rusty. I wasn't able to use it for a long time. So I gonna use it now..Cuidate. Hasta Pronto.

Big hug,

Kath

Last tuesday, we had our b.a. convention held at the Hyatt Hotel and Casino. The whole convention went fine even though I didn't like that much the food that was served to us. By the way, Giselle was the one who introduced the second speaker and she told us during lunch that she cut-shorted her introductory speech since she was really nervous. The funny part was when she said that it looked like the second speaker was expecting a longer introductory speech than what she delivered so the speaker was surprised when she cutted it short. I can imagine the face of the speaker lol. The 4th speaker was way totally boring that I fell asleep. I was worried that I might get caught so I was surprised to see that many of the participants are also asleep even my seatmates that time, Chino and Gian. We were laughing so hard when we talked about it.

After the convention, we weren't able to go back to the dorm right away because Ma'am Lynne, with the other professors, Ma'am Timbang, Ma'am Abuton and Sir Zablan, treated the working committee for dinner. We ate at Wah Yuen restaurant. It is a chinese restaurant located near Robinson's place manila in adriatico. That was our second time dining there since we had our tour at that restaurant when we were in our first year. It was also that night that we just found out that Wah Yuen restaurant is owned by the family of one of our batchmates who's in section H1. I know her and she's really nice and friendly and I find her pretty. We really had fun that night since while eating, nagkakantahan pa kami...That was also the first time I've been with some of my professors acting and treating each other as if we are just friends...Para kaming barkada na nagkakatuwaan lang...They made me sing kahit na ang sakit tlaga ng la2munan ko non kc may tonsilitis ako..kya lang mapilit sila ska nahiya rin ako kina ma'am.After the celebration, we went home and that's when we had a scary taxi experience. I won't further talk about it here since I'm not in the mood to do so. Maybe next time lol.

Last thursday was the deadline of our project in HTML computer class. I was able to finish the website that I'm working on but I know that I wasn't able to make it at the best of my ability. That's the result of rushing. I needed to rush making that project since I have been absent for two meetings in that computer class. That was when I was sick because of over-fatigue due to our feasibility study. 'm glad that I was able to finish it but I heard from giselle that she wasn't able to finish hers. During our housekeeping class, I grouped with giselle and mayer and we had a practice for bed preparation. I am surprised to find out that it is actually hard to prepare a bed because it was slightly heavy. Maybe it was because of the several linens that's needed to be used in just a single bed. The sample bed was only for a single person, imagine the burden of the chambermaids changing queen-size beds at hotels. I will give them a big tip myself. During our catering lec class, we became so busy trying to patch things up for our catering function the following day. We were all so worried since we just started preparing for that event in just a day and a half. I was assigned at the kitchen so our group became busy planning the menu and on how we are going to manage our time to finish cooking on time since we still need to take our final exam in our computer class at 7am on the same day of the event. We were so not prepared.

Earlier, I woke up late again for the second time so I rushed taking a bath and fixing myself for just less than an hour. I normally do all that in an hour and a half. Imagine that..I'm a survivor lol.. We took the final exam in computer in just about 40 minutes and luckily, I was able to retain some of the things that was taught since I wasn't able to study the night before. Giselle and I were really dead tired that thursday night. We weren't also able to start cooking right away because we had a problem with the requisition. Gladly, after all the hardwork and pressure, the event went fine though there were some loopholes that can't be avoided. I was slightly pissed of with most of my classmates because it was my ID which was at the pantry for all the requested items, both service and kitchen, so I was worried about lost or breakage of things. Most of them didn't even helped me with the requisition since they all left me right away and only my close friends, anne, giselle and also mayer, stayed at the food lab to help me. I'm so thankful to them. Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised with the attitude of most of my classmates. I have known them to be like that from the very start but, I'm actually hoping that some things might have changed. I am really disappointed to find out that most of them haven't. Hopefully they will after taking their practicum. That's left to be discovered.

Big hug

kath

P.S.

You know what, I actually smiled at her!!! I smiled at nemo's gf. It was actually a genuine smile even though I still have feelings for him. I didn't thought I can actually do that. Anyway, she seems nice nman mukhang mahiyain lang. Who knows, maybe there'll come a day that we will become good friends.

Today was the last day of our exhibit so we all had to packed up all of the things which took us setting up for almost two full days. It's really hard to packed them all up considering that we put so much effort and money just to make that exhibit possible.

We're quite lucky that some of our professors and some school staff bought some of the things that we showcased in our exhibit. At least, some of the money we spent came back to us and also we didn't had too much hard time of thinking how we can get rid of all of those things.

This day we also became so busy. We had our final exam in physics lab just this morning and the exam was so nerve wracking. I had a splitting headache after that exam. Almost the whole day, all we did was hang-out at our exhibit booth though there were also some things that I have to accomplish for the b.a. convention that we will be going to have tomorrow. I had to rush to the computer shop just to type the evaluation form for the convention and several times I tried calling Century Park Hotel just to get in touch to one of the speakers, Atty. Antonio fontanilla. I hated that calling part since almost all my coins was used at the payphone booth.

The most tiring part of this day was the pack up in the afternoon. All the lobbies of the different floors become filled with lots of people. All you can see are my batchmates carrying things like plywoods, furnitures, equipments etc... I felt dizzy since I can't help myself watching these people going back and forth. "Grabe sobrang antok pa ko nn"... I really lack sleep again and tomorrow, I still have to wake up early for the convention. I was even assigned to introduce one of the speakers so I still had to make an introductory speech. Hopefully, my stage fright will not get in my way.. Wish me all luck...gtg now

A big hug from me,

kath

It's been so long since I've typed an entry here in my blog. We've been very busy because of tons of school work. This second semester of my junior year as a college student became really tiring and stressful. Now, I experienced what they called the "real college life". Every time I see the first year students looking so happy with beaming smiles on their faces, while me and my batchmates look so haggard and sleepless, I feel so envious of them. Memories of my first year kept flashing back on my mind. I miss the way things going so easy for us.

It's true that as you grow older, the responsibilities that you have to take also becomes bigger. Now, I feel that I became more mature from the way I act, talk and from the way I look at things that's happening around me. My outlook in life already changed. Before, I used to think only about having fun but now, I actually started to think about what my future would be and what would I really want to be. Thoughts of how I will succeed in my chosen career always crosses my mind. A part of me  feels excited just picturing myself working in the hospitality industry but another part of me feels scared to come across disappointment for not achieving my dreams.

Am I the only one thinking about these things? or is it normal that people my age really undergo these phase?. These are some of the questions that always bothers me. I don't get the chance to talk to my other friends about these kind of issues. Maybe because of our busy schedules that all we thought about was our feasibility study.

The feasibility study that we had really brought me lots of new experiences and learnings. I learned so many things about the hardships of putting up a business and that there's so many things that you need to consider. Every detail matters from the general to the most concrete ones. We had to undergo overnights at different homes just for us to finish the whole paper. We didn't had the leisure of time to sleep for several days that everytime we go to our classes, we feel so sleepy, tired and sick that most of us lost weight. I myself became sick to the extent that I was sent to the health service and I had to be absent from my classes for 3 days. My other groupmates and classmates also became sick. We've also experienced lots of conflicts among our groupmates due to the tension and stress that we've been going through that time. I was even involved in one of those conflicts but I'm glad that it became resolved right away. We've talked about it and we decided that we shouldn't let these conflicts go between us. I also heard that even the other groups also have undergone those things. Now, we all come to the realization that being an HRM student is really hard, for you need to learn lots of things and gain lots of skills. I can now challenge the other people who says that "HRM lang naman pla ang course mo".

I'm glad that all things ended well after all those problems that we went through. I became more closer with my groupmates, classmates and also to my batchmates. I also gained new friends through our interior design students counterpart in CFAD. Though we've had conflicts before, we became close and we really had fun finishing our exhibit. Our defense also went well. The panelists didn't turned out to be so scary..lol... They're actually nice and they gave us lots of advice for the improvement of our paper. I really salute them for that.

Though, we still have other things to do, just like the revision for our final paper, the b.a. convention that we have to finish organizing and the last catering function that we still have to finish. Also, I have to accomplish certain things regarding my hotel practicum this coming summer vacation.Things are really not yet ended but I'm hoping that all them will go well. For me, it's only the beginning of a new adventure in my life.

This is dedicated for my groupmates (hopefully they would be able to read this..lol..)

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you. All the things that we have accomplished will not be possible without all our hardships and contributions. I'm glad that we all became close to each other. Hopefully, we'll get to achieve all our dreams. Thanks for the memories and new found friendship. Love you all guys...

a big hug from me,

kath

Wow..I am able to type an entry again here in this blog after a long time… I really abandoned this blog for several months. For I haven't actually thought that I would be super busy in my 3^rd year in college since I encountered too many works and activities which was way beyond of what I expected.

At first, I haven't had the grasp of what it felt like being busy but about after the prelims, I started to feel the impact of being in 3^rd year. The seniors are not joking when they said that 3^rd year is likely to be considered as the busiest year in our program. I didn't believe them until now. Honestly, I was hoping that something new will happen to me this year and will definitely add up some spice in my slightly boring life. "Monotonous" is the word that's likely to be connected with my life as of now. I was also hoping that I will get to fall in love this year. Well, actually I really did fell in love but it didn't turned out on what I want it to be. It's more of a "One-sided love" meaning I was the only one loving him. Maybe he did love me, but only as a friend. You don't know how much suffering I have gone these past few months. The pain that I have gone through when I found out that he's in love with someone else. The agony was really too much to bear for me that I became depressed. Only a few people close to me knew that I have gone through all these things. I can still remember the times when I'm alone in my room, facing the mirror of my dresser and crying endlessly as I gaze at my lonely reflection. It's true that when I fall in love, I really fall so deep and I kinda hated it. Now, I have come to accept that he's really not my destiny. I got used to the sight of them together and day by day, the pain in my heart got lesser and lesser. Maybe its true when they say that the pain didn't actually washed out totally but you just learned how to live with it as time passes by. I'm really happy for him now. I'm also happy to let go of him. I just realized that this is not yet the right time for me to get into a relationship. I'm still young and I have so many fears when it comes to relationships. But I know I can overcome them when I'm ready.

The pre-finals week was really a hard time for all of us. We didn't have enough sleep and we had to go to different places to finish all that was left to be done. We got a hard time to get permission to interview people from the industry and afterwards, we still have to finish the written reports. We've had about two defenses and one presentation of a business plan for our marketing class. The professors are also expecting more from us so we really had to prove ourselves to them. After the works and the likes, we got back to our old selves again. We got to take the time off, chat and laugh with each other just like the old times. It's like the heavy loads were lifted from our backs. The finals in our beverage class also went well though we've gone too many worries and nervousness before it. After all of this, we felt like we were freed.

I guess my classmates are really taking advantage of this semestral break. The time we get to rest and chill out after months of hard work. Even I was taking my time to get to do all the things that I want. I am currently in the process of indulging myself. For I know that this coming semester, we will be much busier. Heavier loads than what we have gone to. But, I'm also thankful for the experiences we've gone through for I feel like I have become more mature than before. I learned so many values like responsibility, trust, unity and cooperation. Well, hopefully all of our hard works will pay off. We will see when our grades will be released this Monday. I am really crossing my fingers for that. I'll just fill you guys with details again next time. Bye..MwacksJ

The academic year started again and We're no more sophomores as before..We're already juniors..A year higher made me realize that I have to be more serious with my studies this time. I should focus more and try to find out on what field am I really good at so I can concentrate on it. Our subjects are harder this semesters and might be for the coming semesters also. Same as last vacation, we will not have our vacation this coming summer since that will be the start of our practicum. From what my senior friend told me, we will be undergoing three practicums, one in the hotel, in a restaurant and the last would be inside the campus. Meaning in the educ cafeteria and at the reader's cafe located at the UST library. I feel excited, nervous and scared all at the same time whenever the thought of going through practicums cross my mind..but I know I will survive it just like other experiences that I have been into that I didn't even thought I will surpassed. Our professors are fine I guess but they're more stricter in my opinion. But I know I will get used to them and I hope I will learn a lot from them. Hopefully, I'll be more mature this time in everything. Lovelife?? Mine is still lacking as usual. Sometimes I feel lonely when I get to think of it but I eventually realizes that there are still things that will make me happy aside from that. I mean I have friends and family who\ loves me unconditionally. There's a lot of changes going in UST and we're so not used to it that we still gets shocked from time to time. First was the lots of freshmen that they accepted this year. The university became really "jam-packed" and it's so suffocating for us higher years since we're really not used to it. Our theory was that UST accepted lots of students this year because they badly needed money for the constructions being made on the campus. It's like everytime you look in a different direction, all you will see are constructions here and there and of course the plenty students. We really like the old UST. We're worried that because of these changes, UST's good reputation might be ruined. God forbid this please. Anyway, I'll just fill you more with details in my next entry cause I badly need to go now...hasta pronto..

I'm so down right now...coz I have already seen her...The girl that they've been teasing to nemo...She's pretty alright and she's the type of girl who likes dressing up...they are commonly addressed to as "Kikay"..I'm so far different from her..Yeah I also like dressing up but not that so much..meaning I can't de considered a "kikay" coz I'm a simple person..and I would like it to remain that way...How I wish I can be considered as an important person in his life and I also wish that he would care for me just as how much he cared for her...But those wishes would be only be "unreachable dreams"...

I'm getting in a "depressal thingy" again...Often times I get depressed and mostly often summer times..perfect timing right?? coz It's currently summer though the difference is, I usually get depressed because I was unbusy. Things went upside down, I got depressed because I'm super super busy and there's a lot of thinking and deciding that have to be done. Yesterday, I almost cried the whole day, thinking about my problems mostly pertaining to our school works..I just don't know If my tita have seen me doing so coz I just stayed inside the room for the whole day. Even the weather seems to be getting a long with me, It was as if the weather undesrtood what I was feeling...Funny thing that It's still summer but there's a typhoon...Anyway, I guess the rainy season is starting to come and surely, lots of typhoons will hit the country. I just hope all of us would be safe. I was lying down yesterday, crying, sleeping, waking up and ended up crying again. I even told myself that "I would still sleep even If It killed me"..I was that so depressed..But I feel better right now. If only he is here to comfort me=(.

"So I put on my make-up, put a smile on my face and If anyone asks me, Everything is okay. I'm laughing coz no one knows the joke was on me, Coz I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face"

A part of the lyrics of the song "Smile" by Tamia...The song that best describes my life. I'm doing it again. Hiding my true feelings. so goes my "secretive character" running again. I've noticed that everybody around me thought that I'm always happy because of the smile that I'm wearing on my face everyday. But nobody knows that deep inside, I'm so lonely. It's like I'm hiding behind a "happy mask". I just don't if anyone can unveil my hidden loneliness. Maybe, they can see it if they just looked into my eyes and I don't know if anyone did. It is true that our eyes are "the windows of our soul" because our eyes can't lie. It shows what we really feel inside and I've proven it. Looking into other people's eyes gave me the chance to sense what their true feelings are and you will see even their most hidden ones. I hope everything will be okay soon. Enough about sentimental things, I just expressed them out through typing them here in my blog so I can start forgetting them.

Today is mother's day so I would like to greet my mother. So this part of my entry, I dedicate it to my mother.

"Happy mother's Day Nanay"..If only you could read this entry but I know you won't(she doesn't know how to get online lol)...But my heart will send my love to you even though you're far away from me right now. I don't blame you that we are drifted apart by distance because I know that you're doing this for me..for my own future. And I'm so proud to have a mother like you...Thank you for your love and for the sacrifices that you have done for me. I know how much you love me and tatay and I feel just the same. Hope you will always be safe there. I'm so blessed to have parents like you, Nanay and Tatay. If there's only one thing that I would not replace ever in this world, that would be both of you. God Bless always. I love you so much.

I don't perfectly feel fine right now because I lack sleep for almost every day that passes by...There's so many things to study and things to be done immediately since summer classes covers up shorter period than normal semesters that we usually have...I have so many worries right now, specifically pertaining to our school works...The presentation of the interview for our Basic Front Office class, which is not yet done. My tita actually just brought the letter for us to be permitted to take pictures at Victoria court earlier this afternoon. Tita offered to be the one to bring it since she knows that we actually lack time to do it ourselves at this point of time. Stress really can take up all your "fun mood", but lucky me that I still manages to keep a smile on my face. I hope my cheerfulness can brighten up everyone's day. It's like I assigned myself to make other people's day be filled with happiness and enjoyment. I just hope I'm doing a great job lol.. One more thing, there's also this project for our accounting class that I'm also worrying about. We need to produce a copy of an annual report of any type of business, If possible related to our course that is, and later on, we will make an analysis on that particular annual report. It just seems that, we don't know how we can get one in hand... If we didn't get to accomplish all these requirements soon, we'll be so dead. I hope we'll get lucky again.

" Its so hard pretending to be friends with someone special when everytime you look at that person, It just hurts even more knowing that all you see is everything that you want, but you can't have".

This quote is actually a text message sent to me by one of my friends..Her name is jenny and she was my classmate in p.e. on the second semester of our 1st yr in college...La lng, I just thought I'd like to share this quote with you all because I can really relate to it.I hope some of you do too so you will understand me. It is as if my dilemma had been perfectly put into words then summarized. I'm talking about nemo. yeah right I know that I'm still that into him, I just can't seem to brush him off my mind you see. Honestly, I don't even know If we can be considered as friends since we don't talk that much even though we see each other for almost everyday. But lately, I think we're relating way much much better than before. "Yung pagkailang ko sa knya medyo nababawasan na". I have actually exchanged a few words with him for several times these past few days. I think we're getting along better and I hope we will continue this way. Though, I admit that I'm still hoping. Maybe it is one thing that you can't take away from me right now. Anyway, it is everyone has the right not to be deprived of harboring feelings for someone whom they consider so special. Every single person is also entitled to choose and decide on their own so for me, I chose to wait for him. Who knows, maybe that time would actually come...I hope you're getting all what I'm saying, It's just that I'm not that so good in expressing my emotions through words. I just love writing I guess, but I wasn't given the gift for it. What I would just like to happen is that anyone who reads my entries, would be enjoyed even from my crazy combination of words and thoughts.

Past school days were fine though I hated the travel (house-to school, back and forth) and also the insufficient amount of sleep that I get everynight that gives me a splitting headache the following day. One thing that I'm really looking forward to was to be able to listen to DJ Mo's program at magic 89.9... I'm really shallow. Nothing special about it, I just enjoyed listening to him and his companions. One of his companions is actually a psychic and he's really good and you can ask anything. I'm actually thinking of calling the station and asking him myself. But I can't cause I lack time. I also enjoy their "Dares everyweek"...Their dare this week was to eat different kinds of exotic foods that each one of them can find, then bring it to the station for all of them to try it. Some sounds and looks like kinda gross or something just as how they describe it and you can also get that idea based on their reactions..gross and really unappetizable but, they still eat them anyway. It's a dare that's why. By the way, I really need to go since I have an assignment to research for accounting and we will have two quizzes in computer tom. Gudluck to me and to my classmates.